We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
