Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
