dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
