its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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