Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?