i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"