so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
