I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.