these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your cock deserves a montage
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
