i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
