We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
