I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
