she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
In America we eat man semen.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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