i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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