Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
