they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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