well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
