i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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