when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You are a genius and a whore.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
