I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
