My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
