I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
