Me too!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
