How'd it feel making her break her religion?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize