gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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