I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
