You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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