Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
