thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
