I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
