he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
