I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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