Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So vagazzling was a success
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
