i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
