the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
