nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
