I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
