I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
