I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize