You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize