As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
