every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
