fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
