I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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