I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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