i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
