Already got asked if we're dating
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
