WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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