Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
