Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Operation Purity has been aborted
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
