I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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