I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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