I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Everything about him screamed your future.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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