I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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