All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
