Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
