I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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