There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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