It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
