y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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