I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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