Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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