Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
