Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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